Snot
Look, people, snot is snot.
Snot is not a breakfast food. I don't want to sit on the train in the morning listening to you snorking up and gobbling half a pound of boogers. If you want breakfast, buy toast.
Snot is not a moisteriser. Wiping the snot drooling from your nose onto your face adds nothing to your essential beauty.
Snot is not hair gel. Running your hand up your face, collecting a couple of ounces of docker's oyster and rubbing it into your hair not only does nothing for your essential beauty, but is unhygienic and makes me want to puke.
Snot is not for sharing. Don't sneeze it into the air, to be breathed in by your fellow commuters, or gob it onto the pavement, like some mysteriously oversized amoeba.
Snot is not cocaine. So don't sniff it up like it was finest Peruvian Marching Powder.
Snot is not a decorator's accessory. So don't wipe it on walls.
Buy a handkerchief. And blow your damn nose.
Snot is not a breakfast food. I don't want to sit on the train in the morning listening to you snorking up and gobbling half a pound of boogers. If you want breakfast, buy toast.
Snot is not a moisteriser. Wiping the snot drooling from your nose onto your face adds nothing to your essential beauty.
Snot is not hair gel. Running your hand up your face, collecting a couple of ounces of docker's oyster and rubbing it into your hair not only does nothing for your essential beauty, but is unhygienic and makes me want to puke.
Snot is not for sharing. Don't sneeze it into the air, to be breathed in by your fellow commuters, or gob it onto the pavement, like some mysteriously oversized amoeba.
Snot is not cocaine. So don't sniff it up like it was finest Peruvian Marching Powder.
Snot is not a decorator's accessory. So don't wipe it on walls.
Buy a handkerchief. And blow your damn nose.
posted by Mr. Z at 10:49 am
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